Over the past few days, I have been thinking about a question my wife asked me regarding our children: what do I want them to say about what they have learned from me?
It is an obvious but profound question. In the moment, I responded that I want them to know that they have enough knowledge and skills to meet the challenges of life, because life, while joyful, is often quite difficult. I want them to have a sense of independence and confidence along with a willingness to explore the wider world.
But as I think about it more, I want to teach my kids:
- That we are called to live with a sense of duty and responsibility to care for others, both known and unknown to them.
- That belief if stronger than knowledge – because what we know is static and often rooted in the past (usually with a sense of right and wrong); whereas belief is rooted in what has occurred with hope as you walk towards the horizon.
- That independence is not isolated, but rather when you learn to ask for help on your own.
- That we learn the most important lessons from people who are radically different than ourselves; and the more we are present to them, the better we understand who we are and our place in the world.
- To know enough that you never have to pay someone to work for you that you could do yourself.
- Be comfortable with risk and failure when it doesn’t matter, so that when it does, you can recover well.
- That the opposite of joy is not sadness, but expectation.
- That no matter what we do, we are always worthy of love.
- That true stability has nothing to do with walls, titles and routines and everything to do with relationships.
- That it is not for us to know whether our prayers will save us, but that the most certainly make us worth saving.
- That church, while able to profess some certainties, has much more to teach us about living with uncertainty.
- That our imagination is the humanity’s greatest renewable resource.
- That faith is the convergence of our experience and our hope.
- That when we live up to our calling, we are provocative – we are compelled to state less and ask more.
- That love and creativity are the result of vulnerability.
- That authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.
- That community is pointless without purpose.
- That belonging leads to believing, not the other way around.
And the list keeps growing. . .