I have been in prison four days this week. It is more than usual, but it is because we have had our graduation events at a new unit, and because I have spent some extra time with our servant leaders on the inside about how we can improve the program. There is a lot to take in, but I was so impressed their sense of service. It has actually been a theme in many of my conversations with alumni and participants throughout much of January.
Formation is very different than education. Education is something you know – it is intentional and often very measurable. Formation is much more subtle. You can’t really measure it, but usually there is a day when you realize you have been formed. Education is something you can do individually, but formation requires community.
I say this because many of the men with whom we work told me that the feel like our program really begins after graduation. They said that is when they really began to understand that success is really about service and how much they realized now that their previous notions of success were rather selfish. When I heard this, I realized that the formation occurred after the education did – which is usually how this all works. Once the mind is focused, the heart work can really begin.
But you also need a reason to undergo formation. For many of the men in prison, their families are that reason. I recently had a conversation with a man who has been in out of prison since he was a teenager. He recalled that he grew up without much – his mom didn’t make a lot of money, but when he was set to graduate high school, his mom splurged to buy him a congratulatory banner and a key so he could celebrate his accomplishments with his friends. He didn’t know this until much later because he went out the night before and did some things that got him arrested. His mother never saw him graduate. But our team reached out to his mother, as we do all family members of the guys who are about the graduate, and she agreed to attend. This man was awestruck that his mother would finally see him graduate after waiting nearly 30 years to do so.
Today, than man wants people to know his story because he wants others to know the cost of the decisions we make. He wants to be of service, and for him that is all the success he needs.