My wife and I have been watching New Amsterdam on and off for about a year now. Admittedly, if it was up to her, we would have finished the series long ago but I simply don’t have the stamina to stay up longer any more than one episode at a time (and even that is a struggle most nights!)
We are now in the third season which takes place as we all began to carefully emerge after two years of Covid-imposed isolation. Most recently we watched an episode where the administration of the hospital was challenged to encourage patients to return so that revenue streams could begin again, but neither the doctors nor the community felt the comfort of “knowing” it was safe. In the climatic moment, there was a realization that nothing will ever be truly “safe”, but it was safe-enough; that living life fully is worth the risk.
Afterwards, my wife and I commented that the episode felt especially heavy – I think because we remember, very clearly, what that moment of reemergence felt like. It was only just four years ago that we all went into lock-down, and yet it feels like a world away.
The question the episode asked but could never answer was why? What is it all for? Why is all this happening? I asked my wife: we went through all of that – and what did we learn?
What did we learn about ourselves and each other? What did Covid and the years of isolation teach us?
I remember listening to an interview that reflected about how scared we became of the other. That being in proximity to someone you didn’t know could literally kill you. How tragic it was. . .
I would like to say that we learned about sacrificing for common good, but even many who did for the moment, have gone back to our previous habits.
I don’t know that I can confidently say that we “learned” any one great lesson, but we did walk away with some insight about how distracted and compartmentalized our lives have become, and many of us have struggled with what we have lost since the lockdown ended: chiefly, focus and intentionality.
Remember how uncomfortable and exhausting virtual meetings first felt? They required such focus to really be present and we simply were not used to it.
Covid took away so many of the distractions that fill our lives, and suddenly were forced to like the company that we kept – which was pretty difficult if you didn’t feel comfortable with yourself. We were suddenly forced to focus on the people in front of us and we realized that the events and technology that fill our lives has prevented us from being present to each other, as well as ourselves.
What did we learn? I am not entirely sure we have learned it, but we gained some awareness about the difference in our lives with and without the distractions that usually fill them.
The question is now how to create the environments and the disciplines to regain the focus that was once forced upon us with such a force?
There is much we still have to learn and unlearn, but I am profoundly aware of how much I crave presence these days, perhaps because I had a glimpse of what life feels like when my practice of presence is not challenged by distractions that, for a time, took a back seat to the need to care for each other.